Recent research from Harvard, Brown, and UCLA reveals something telling about workplace dynamics: most people avoid salary negotiations not because they lack negotiation skills, but because they don’t feel safe asking.
As noted in a leading industry publication, employees often believe their employers simply aren’t open to discussing pay. Some experts suggest that coaching job seekers on negotiation techniques could solve this problem—but the data tells a different story. Coaching didn’t change behavior, increase negotiation activity, or result in higher salaries.
The real issue isn’t about the employee’s capability. It’s about the organization’s culture.
If companies want to create workplaces that foster engagement, motivation, retention, and results, they need to focus on building cultures of openness and trust—especially when it comes to conversations about pay.
The Myth of ‘Nice’ Leadership
One of the biggest misconceptions I see among leaders is the belief that creating a great culture means always saying yes or giving people what they want. In their minds, denying a raise or turning down a request might seem like a failure of empathy or leadership.
But in reality, the opposite is true. Healthy cultures are not defined by constant agreement—they’re defined by honest communication. Great leaders make tough calls every day. What differentiates a thriving culture is how those decisions are made and communicated.
Let me give you a personal example.
When my father retired, our family made him a video filled with stories about what we appreciated most about him. One story I shared was how I valued his ability to really listen to me when I was growing up. Like any teenager, I often wanted to do things that required parental permission. Sometimes, his answer was no. Naturally, I’d argue my case, trying to convince him otherwise. He always listened—truly listened. Even when the answer remained no, I felt heard and respected.
Leaders need to do the same thing in organizations. Saying no doesn’t erode trust—ignoring or avoiding the conversation does.
When employees feel heard, they are far more likely to accept decisions they don’t agree with, because they understand the reason behind them. Whether the topic is salary, career growth, or workplace policies, employees want to know that their perspective matters and that their leaders are willing to engage.
Creating that kind of environment doesn’t require constant agreement, it requires consistent respect.
The ‘Mighty Middle’ Dilemma
Another major barrier to open salary conversations lies within what I call the “mighty middle”—the managers and supervisors who shoulder responsibility for hiring and leading people but lack real authority to make key decisions.
When mid-level leaders are expected to manage performance, oversee hiring, or handle salary discussions without decision-making power, it creates tension and confusion. Employees quickly sense when their manager’s hands are tied, and trust erodes.
I once worked with a leader who hired for a director-level position. Before she could even interview the candidate, her boss had already extended an offer. That decision undermined her credibility and left her in a difficult position. How could she manage effectively when her authority had been bypassed?
You can’t expect managers to lead well if you don’t empower them to make decisions. Responsibility, authority, and accountability must be aligned—and pushed as far down the organization as possible. When people are trusted to use their judgment and skills, they take ownership. When they aren’t, potential is wasted.
Rethinking the Root Cause
The reluctance of job seekers to negotiate salary isn’t a skill gap—it’s a culture gap. Employees hesitate to negotiate not because they don’t know how, but because the organizational environment signals that doing so is unsafe, unwelcome, or futile.
When leaders avoid conversations about compensation—whether out of fear of conflict, lack of authority, or simple discomfort—they inadvertently communicate that openness is risky. Over time, that silence extends beyond salary discussions. Employees stop sharing new ideas. Teams stop challenging the status quo. Innovation slows to a crawl.
In short, a culture that avoids tough conversations also avoids growth.
Building Cultures of Safe Conversation
So, how can organizations build cultures where salary discussions—and other tough conversations—are safe, respectful, and productive?
- Model transparency from the top.
When executive leaders talk openly about compensation philosophy and pay structure, it sets the tone for psychological safety across the organization. - Train leaders in listening, not just leading.
Emotional intelligence, empathy, and active listening should be as valued as technical expertise. Leaders who can listen deeply—even when they can’t give employees what they want—build more trust and commitment over time. - Empower managers with authority.
Align decision-making power with responsibility. When mid-level leaders are empowered to act, they create trust both upward and downward in the organization. - Create forums for open dialogue.
Encourage employees to ask questions about pay, policies, and career growth. Regular “ask me anything” sessions or open office hours help normalize transparency. - Reward honesty and courage.
Recognize leaders and employees who bring difficult issues to the table constructively. Courageous conversations should be seen as a strength, not a threat.
The Bottom Line
Avoiding conversations about pay isn’t about politeness; it’s about fear. And when fear drives leadership behavior, culture suffers.
Executive leaders are responsible for creating environments where people can express ideas, challenge assumptions, and engage in healthy debate. That includes talking about money.
When people feel safe to ask—and leaders feel confident to listen—the result isn’t just better salary discussions. It’s stronger engagement, higher trust, and a culture where everyone feels heard, valued, and empowered to contribute their best.
Michele Herlein is the author of “Cultural Excellence: A Leader’s Guide to Strengthening the Heart of Your Organization.” She is the founder of CultureMax, a consultancy that helps organizations align their culture and strategy, and a former senior HR leader at Bridgestone Americas and Barge Design Solutions. Michele has led cultural transformations that quadrupled profits at Bridgestone and increased profitability sevenfold at Barge. She holds a doctorate in business administration and has built her career on inspiring leaders to create thriving workplaces where people feel valued and organizations succeed.